Baba

I have no words. Just dried-up eyes and lots of memories. Love you.

mornings starting with alarm clocks, hurried breakfasts n rickshaw rides, afternoons mixed with alien hostel lunches alternating with fast-food joints, evenings filled with flavoured milk, random trips, plays n concerts, nights braided with roommate-bonding n home deliveries, days filled with discoveries, of new people and places, of cosy, loverly shops, of unexpected delights, of a taste of much-wanted freedom not yet tinged with home-sickness...life@dilli.

Message

These simple needs that I
must clench my mind against.

To watch the way your words
shifting,
shape the shadows in your face,
retelling weary hours
just left behind.
To share a moment that flowers,
tiny cup of colour,
at a sudden turning in my day,
too fragile to be stored
for when there's time...

Small denials, neatly shelved,
behind the walls
inside my eyes.

-Anjum Katyal

Come ye all

Play for Peace

It's happening it's happening it's happening! :D I haven't yet got an image to upload. Till then, check this out!

More lessons

This is not as cheery as 'apni toh paathshaala', nor does it have too much of masti, but tis important all the same. Recently I have learnt, besides the various articles of our constitution and the names of different bays in the world, that it is better not to depend on anyone. Anyone. However close to you they might be. If u haven't learnt to be self-sufficient, what have u learnt? I am glad to say i am in the process...i have begun.

P.S. I needed school. And i will need more college.

booklovers special mention ;)

Not blogged for a while now. Why? Well, the biggest online reason is bookcrossing. Doesn't give time for much else...i'm quite addicted! Oh, n bookmooch is a great site as well. Check it out if u haven't already! Offline, well, a lot's been happening. Stuff to look forward to also! NSD plays in delhi, the Taj in agra, Play for Peace back home, film screenings, books mailed from different parts of the world..and neck-deep with prep! But more on all this later! U go immerse yourself in those sites :)

Escape is such a thankful Word
I often in the Night
Consider it unto myself
No spectacle in sight

Escape -- it is the Basket
In which the Heart is caught
When down some awful Battlement
The rest of life is dropt --

'Tis not to sight the Saviour --
It is to be the saved --
And that is why i lay my Head
Upon this trusty word --

-Emily Dickinson

Lessons learnt

Look at what i learnt, and in a single day too:

• Once a liar, always a liar.
  
• There are just two kinds of people, the ones who get hurt, and the ones who do the hurting.
  
• Some things are just not meant to be said.

P.S. Who needs school or college?

good times, old times

Nostalgia is more than what it used to be.

in splits

watch this!

The three A's in my life

The A who's so far but so near: She's earth and water and sometimes, fire. She's touch. In all it's glory. The one who's always there to listen to me rant and rave; my online vent. And sometimes i'm hers too. Reads like her life depends on it and writes like a dream. The one who drooled over Rhett Butler with me. The one who invented hug therapy (It's very successful! If nothing else, a feeling of warmth is guaranteed). She's also the one who inspired me to blog. The one who i got back in touch with thanks to the worldwideweb. The one who chuckles and grins and laughs and not through emoticons. The one who'll open a bookshop with me someday:). . The one who'll never give up. Thanks, A. The world's a brighter place because of u. Love u.

The A who's so near yet so far: She's the one who made me open up, after years of bottled feelings. The one who knows all my secrets (if it's not her, your only other chance is some tree hole!). The one who'll win you over with her beautiful smile and those lovely eyes. The one who walks on the roads like she owns em. My partner-in-crime. The one who, along with the guts and bring-it-on attitude, harbours a sensitive and caring soul. The one who's all emotion. And who's hurting. While i stand inches away, helpless. I don't know what i would do without u, A, but at present i don't know what to do with u. I can only pray. And be there, whether u need me or not, hoping never to hurt u. Love u.

The A who's not quite near but very very far: And we come to this one. Who's so many things and nothing. The one who can make my day. Who i get such a kick out of (hee). The one who's up for anything, ready to explore any possibility. But who's such an impossibility. Sigh. I wish i could love u.

and my year starts...

Lost opportunities. It's got a hopeless feel about it, that phrase. What do u do when u can't do something, and for no apparent reason at all? When something u planned for days and weeks in perfect detail just crumbles down at the last moment like badly-made cookies? Do u sit and cry, blame others, curse your luck or "move on"? It's bloody hard to move on when u've never been more hopelessly stuck. And when u don't really know why that phrase was invented in the first place. As if we wouldn't if we could! Gah! I'm hoping there's something called blog therapy. And miracles. And while we're at it, maybe one more effin opportunity.


P.S. U must have figured out that this blog generally doesn't contain answers but lots and lots of questions. Anyway an answer can never have the limitless possibilities of a question, so...well, yeah.

the delight that is life

I'm home and ready to go to bed at 11 on Christmas eve. What would have been my most exciting trip till date is hanging heavily in the air, waiting for circumstances to assure its execution. I have no clue what i'll do in the future which is why i have applied nowhere as yet. I might just be the next big thing in the world of the jobless. So, merry christmas everyone. I'm all set to have a crappy new year.

P.S. sunnysidewhat?

grumble

To whom do i give the attention meant for u? From whom do i satisfy the craving to know u better? Through which sieve do i pour out my feelings?
Gah. Life should have more options. Or less space for feelings.